I thought she’ll never notice, until she asked.
My wife’s wondering why I was so selective of people I keep around – from clients I work with to people I listen to.
So I sit down with her and explained everything.
I explained why I’m not a fan of TV programs.
And why reading newspapers or magazines are just a waste of time.
My philosophy is simple: garbage in, garbage out.
See, I want to make sure that what gets inside my mind either relaxes me or guides me where I want to be.
Probably you have the same beliefs.
Maybe we can both agree that mainstream media isn’t a great environment to foster growth.
But how do you accelerate it and realize your full potential faster?
I have my own system in doing so and I’d like to share it with you.
How to Become a Success Magnet: I run life like my business
They say you have to separate business from personal life.
For me it’s impossible.
What I’m doing in my life right now is exactly how I run marketing for my clients.
Let me explain.
I build sales funnels for my client’s businesses.
I design a filtering system where the crème of the crop (buyers) get separated from tire kickers.
I put micro-steps to filter those people out based on the product or service my client is offering.
Let’s say 1,000 people entered the top of the funnel.
Based on the steps they have to go through (e.g. downloaded an eBook, registered to a webinar, subscribed to the newsletter, etc.), only 100 people reach the middle of the funnel.
So these 100 people are relevant to the services you’re giving.
Then, maybe you have a high-priced product which only relevant to a very few people. What you’ll get is just 2% to 10% of the total number of people who went through your funnel.
These people are the crème of the crop.
Are they mostly a good fit?
In fact, some people will end up annoying you and wasting your time more than they will add value to the business.
As you can see, this filtering system works in life, too.
How to Become a Success Magnet: Life’s filtering system
There are 7 billion people in the world.
Some are good.
Some are crappy.
So the society evolved to come up with its own filtering system.
Let me show you how it works.
I live in the UK where British people has a system of middle-class, upper-class and lower-class society.
There are other levels, too: race, religion, caste, creed and so on.
These systems are identifying people based on the ideology they belong to.
Initially, that was the idea.
But as time went on, people simply accepted that “Oh, this person is a middle class because he came from London or the Midlands.”
So, if you’re hanging out with middle-of-the-society people, it would automatically make you a middle-society person.
As a result, a lower-class person ends up hanging out with lower-class people. Or someone from the ghetto remains in the slums.
True, they might aspire to be a higher-class person.
But it’s just because of the money and shiny objects they see.
And not the mental capacity a higher-class person has (or perceived to has).
They still end up being a lower-class person despite the money or shiny objects they own.
As you can see, these systems don’t encourage improvement.
How to Become a Success Magnet: It starts between your ears
Life’s filtering system is outdated.
A better way is to use a funneling system.
How do you apply it?
Let me give you an example.
I’m blessed with a special kind of “sensitivity”; whatever goes in my mind, defines my destiny.
Let’s say you’re my friend and you explained something to me.
If I paid attention to you, I can repeat our conversations in my mind. The more I repeat them, the more they become part of my identity.
That’s why it’s important that these conversations help me become a better version of myself.
Do you know why?
Because our lives are limited.
Which makes every moment special.
I’m not going to waste it on things which aren’t relevant to my life.
Think about this concept as you go through the day.
Tip #1: Start filtering thoughts coming in or going out of your mind.
Ask these questions before engaging in a conversation or just being with yourself:
- Will these thoughts lead me to a better position in life?
- Am I using my freedom to choose things that will improve my lifestyle?
- Do the words I use to describe my life encourage growth or uplift my mood?
This part is important because our mind needs control … or it will control you.
How to Become a Success Magnet: Your monkey brain: activated
Let’s say you talked to an officemate and it wasn’t the most pleasant experience you had.
Once you get back home, your mind starts to play with that crappy conversation all over again.
It’s like an annoying monkey swinging from one idea to another.
And it doesn’t stop there.
Even when you’re serious at work, this monkey keeps on howling the conversation again and again.
Over time, this conversation becomes part of your belief, your identity.
Because the more we keep repeating it in our mind, the more we think the same way.
We are becoming part of that thinking.
So how do we take care of our thinking? How do we jump from being lower-class to a higher-class person?
The answer is …
Attracting the type of people you’d like to become
I always thought that I’m a fast consumer of online courses, books, and educational stuff.
Surprisingly, people around me (my clients and friends) are fast learners too – even faster.
Their books become mine.
I enroll on courses my friends recommend.
I also notice a gradual shift in my philosophy.
Before I tend to slack off when things aren’t going my way. But then I start working with clients who are going through tough times.
There’s something special about them.
These people, despite their hardship, keep on moving, serving customers with a smile on their faces. And that attitude is contagious … even addicting at times.
And the more I work with smarter, driven people, the more I see myself improving.
In less than a year, I was able to build my consultancy business, build my list to a thousand people and get regular clients from the most lucrative niches in the world.
Tip #2: Surround yourself with people who you would like to become.
Where do you find them?
- Social media communities
- Networking events
- Mastermind groups (paid or free)
- Mentorship or apprenticeship programs
- Audiobooks, books and online courses
The online world is teeming with rich, dynamic minds ready to enrich your life. Grab this opportunity while you can.
How to Become a Success Magnet: Success comes with a cost
My life back in India was crazy.
I was living with hundreds of relatives around. It was like being a Hobbit in The Lord of the Rings.
If you remember, Hobbits are famous for being isolated from the rest of the world.
They’re just happy among themselves. In fact, they would spend hundreds of years living in one village without going out. Hobbits despise people who are adventurous.
And you know what?
People are just like Hobbits.
They talk the same things.
They re-affirm what they’re doing is right.
They just find a place in the society where they fit.
It’s a very comfortable position.
It’s dangerous as well.
Because a “Hobbit” lifestyle is hard to un-learn.
You stay where you are: complacent, simple … even naïve at times.
You won’t suffer from heartaches, frustrations and sleepless nights. You’re free from staff or tough customers.
A Hobbit lifestyle protects you from the uncertainties of the outside world.
But it also prevents you from experiencing the best things in life:
- Financial security
- Time freedom
- Reaching your full potential
- Recognition from other people
- Earning the respect of your family, colleagues, and friends
When I realized that the rewards far outweighs my current status, I knew I had to make a choice.
So, I decided to fly away from India and start a new life in the UK.
It took years of re-programming and positive reinforcement to finally get myself out of the Hobbit lifestyle.
I had to re-engineer my funnel and crop out previous beliefs with new ones.
It comes with a great cost, too.
That means sacrificing my relationship with some of my relatives and childhood friends.
That means hundreds of dollars invested in online courses, coaching programs, and books.
That means forcing myself out to the unknown and facing my fear of having a business.
Basically, I’m going through my own funnel as if I was my own client. I have to know if I deserve to be successful.
Am I near the end of the tunnel?
But it’s damn better than what I had before.
Tip #3: Becoming successfully comes with a cost. And sometimes, we have to sacrifice relationships to become a better version of ourselves.
This relationship isn’t limited to your relatives or friends. It could mean your relationship with old habits or poor mindset.
Let me end this post with a story from Jim Rohn.
One day, a group of high school student asked him, “Mr. Rohn, how do you build a good life?”
“It’s simple. It’s not easy, but it’s simple.”
“Here’s how you build anything: select the right ingredients; keep out the wrong ingredients and it starts with thought.”
“Everything starts with a thought. So you must be wise and careful what you think about because that starts everything.”
Then he asked the kids, “What would happen if somebody drops sugar in my coffee?”
“Well, you’d be okay.”
He asked again, “What if somebody dropped strychnine in my coffee?”
They said, “Well you’d be dead.”
“Correct. Lesson 1: life is both sugar and strychnine; you gotta be careful.”
Jim asked once again, “What if my worst enemy drops sugar?”
“Well, you’d be okay.”
“What if my best friend – even by accident – drops a strychnine?”
The kids answered, “Well you’d be dead.”
Jim replied, “Correct. Lesson 2: watch your coffee.”
“See it doesn’t matter who hands you the bad stuff. It will still do its damage in your bank account – wherever you get it.”
So let me ask you this:
How do you you weed the bad stuff from of your “coffee”?